


StarBook, the stars' network

by LadySidious



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Facebook, Marathon Faradien, Multi, Translation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-07-24 05:19:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7495404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySidious/pseuds/LadySidious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Translation] [Crack!fic] When the Star Wars characters discover the social networks... /Marathon Faradien - Days 26, 33, 40/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [StarBook, le réseau des étoiles](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2744498) by [Isa_Faradien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isa_Faradien/pseuds/Isa_Faradien). 



> Today, my thoughts are with the victims of the attacks in Nice. I'm from France too, although I don't live near Nice, and when I learned the news yesterday night, I was devastated.  
> They were innocents. They only wanted to watch the firework organised for the National Day, and their lives has been destroyed in an instant, because a monster decided to.  
> May they rest in peace into the Force.
> 
> This fanfiction is the translation of my own « StarBook, le réseau des étoiles », a big piece of crack ;D Huge thank to my beta-reader Gigira :D  
> Here's the first chapter. Enjoy :)  
> (Chapters two and three are already translated, and they will be posted every friday ;) I've got to work on the others... o.o')

**Obi-Wan Kenobi** just joined StarBook.

 **Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala, Ahsoka Tano** and **3 others** like this.

 **Anakin Skywalker** : Finally, Master!

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi** : Ahsoka finally managed to convince me to... what did she say... “move with the times”.

 **Ahsoka Tano** : I can assure you it was difficult, Master Skywalker... I think I came close to nervous breakdown, sometimes...

 **Padmé Amidala** likes this.

 

 

 **Anakin Skywalker** likes “Flying ships like a madman”.

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala** and **2 others** like this.

 **Padmé Amidala** : Anything else would have been astonishing.

 

 

 **Chancellor Palpatine** just joined StarBook.

 **Padmé Amidala** : Chancellor?

 **Chancellor Palpatine** : Indeed, in flesh and bone. Anakin convinced me to sign up...

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi** : I can see that his apprentice and himself constitute a very persuasive pair...

 **Anakin Skywalker** and **Ahsoka Tano** like this.

 

 

 **Yoda** : To grow, the Dark Side never stops. Pessimistic I am, as for this war's end.

 **Anakin Skywalker** : We will win this war, Master Yoda.

 **Padmé Amidala** : I agree with Master Skywalker on this point, Master Yoda. The Republic has something that Separatists don't have.

 **Chancellor Palpatine** : And what is this, my dear?

 **Padmé Amidala** : Jedi!

 **Anakin Skywalker** : +1

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi** : +1

 **Yoda** : +1

 **Mace Windu** : +1

 **Ahsoka Tano** : +1000

 

 

 **Ahsoka Tano** likes “Gossiping for hours and hours, like any normal girl”.

 **Barriss Offee** likes this.

 

 

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi** likes “Cutting arms in pubs”.

 **Anakin Skywalker** : o.o

 

 

 **Anakin Skywalker** likes “Kicking Separatists' asses because they are morons”.

 **Count Dooku** likes “Kicking Jedi's asses because they are an endangered species”.

 **Yoda** : o.o

 

 

 **Yoda** likes “Dressing up as a monster and scream: I AM A TROLL!”

 **Ahsoka Tano** : Master Yoda, I'm shaken up o.o

 

 

 **Chancellor Palpatine** likes “Manipulating”.

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi** : This is why I never liked politicians...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week, it's Munich's turn to be attacked. What a mad world we live in! x'(  
> My thoughts are with Munich. At the moment when this chapter is posted, the attackers were not caught yet, so I hope there won't be more victims this night.
> 
> /Marathon Faradien - Day 33/  
> My OC Eliane Sadler is introduced this week! Hope you will like her ;)  
> Again, thank you Gigira for the beta reading :D

**Chancellor Palpatine** just changed his name in **Sheev Palpatine**.

 **Anakin Skywalker** : I've known you for more than ten years and I never had any idea of your first name! O_o'

 **Sheev Palpatine** : Hehe, I know how to keep my secrets.

 

 

 **Eliane Sadler** just joined StarBook.

 **Eliane Sadler** : Hi everyone!

 **Ahsoka Tano** : …

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi** : Hello Eliane, but... who are you?

 **Eliane Sadler** : Are you Obi-Wan Kenobi? O_o'

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi** : I am. Why are you asking?

 **Eliane Sadler** : * looks to the website name * Oh shit. Wrong website. I was looking for Facebook, not StarBook O_o' By the way, I didn't know that the Star Wars characters had their own social network... Is it new?

 **Anakin Skywalker** : What do you mean, "the Star Wars characters"? We are not characters, we really exist!

 **Eliane Sadler** : It's a complicated story... I'm from a planet called Earth, in a galaxy far, far away. And on my planet, your adventures are told in a series of films called Star Wars. For us, earthlings, you are all fictitious, created by a certain George Lucas!

 **Anakin Skywalker** : …

 **Padmé Amidala** : How can this even be possible? O_o'

 **Eliane Sadler** : I don't know! o.o But it's nice to be on the social network of my favourite characters! :)

 **Sheev Palpatine** : You are welcome here, Eliane.

 **Eliane Sadler** : You? You are here, too? O_o' But that's wonderful! You're my favourite character! Err, well, "character"... not so much, obviously ^-^'

 **Sheev Palpatine** : I am glad to see that I am known out of the galaxy's borders :)

 

 

 **Eliane Sadler** : On my planet, there's so many Star Wars jokes! "Jabba the Hutt is fat. How fat is he? So fat, Obi-Wan took a closer look and said _That's no moon_."

 **Ahsoka Tano** : Ingenious!

 **Eliane Sadler** : "What do you call a person who brings a Rancor its dinner? The appetizer."

 **Anakin Skywalker** : Hehe, this is the best joke I've ever heard! You, earthlings, seem to have a great sense of humor ;)

 **Eliane Sadler** : Hehe, that's because the fan community is great! "What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be."

 **Sheev Palpatine** : Your community seems to be very prolific.

 **Eliane Sadler** : Fandoms are boundless!

 **Sheev Palpatine** : Fandoms? What is this?

 **Eliane Sadler** : It's a portmanteau word between "fan" and "kingdom". It's the name given to fan communities.

 **Sheev Palpatine** : Oh, all right :) Are there many fandoms?

 **Eliane Sadler** : Almost everything has a fandom (books, films, TV series, video games... even singers or actors).

 **Sheev Palpatine** : You seem to be very well-informed on this subject. How many "fandoms" are you in?

 **Eliane Sadler** : I can't give you an exact number... too many fandoms, as my friends always say x')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three is ready to be published, but you will have to wait til next friday because I have some WiFi issues x(
> 
> You can leave a review, and if you wish you can also enlist in the "Sidious Army" on Facebook :3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Marathon Faradien - Day 40/
> 
> Hello again :3
> 
> This chapter will be mainly about the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies, so I apologise to the ones who will find it boring (and I must admit, I think myself that it wasn't a good idea after all – but it's too late to change it, though, because the French version is already out).
> 
> Some spoilers of "The Force Awakens", even if I think everyone has seen it now ;)

**Eliane Sadler** just shared a link.

 **Eliane Sadler:** If someone wants to waste his or her time having a Marvel marathon, here are the links to watch the movies and TV series in chronological order ;)

 **Padmé Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano** and **5 others** like this.

 **Sheev Palpatine:** Is it one of the numerous fandoms you are in?

 **Eliane Sadler:** Yeah, even one of the most important on my list ;)

 **Sheev Palpatine:** Perhaps I will watch those films if I find the time to do it :)

 

 

 **Anakin Skywalker:** Just began the marathon, and finished _Captain America: The First Avenger_! :) The ending is so sad x'(

 **Eliane Sadler:** There's too many aching fanfeels in Cap. I'm never going to get over those films x'(

 

 

 **Padmé Amidala:** I finished the _Agent Carter_ TV series. It's nice to see a woman as the leading role! But the story is so sad because she lost Steve x'(

 **Eliane Sadler:** This is my favourite TV series! I cried along with her whenever they talked about Steve. It's such a tragic story.

 

 

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** I just finished watching _Iron Man_ and _Iron Man 2_. He is an interesting character ^-^'

 **Ahsoka Tano:** And Black Widow is awesome * - * And so badass * 0 *

 **Eliane Sadler:** Tony Stark is supreme awesomeness. Black Widow has so much class. I would have liked them to end up together, at least for a moment :/

 **Ahsoka Tano:** It's true that Tony would be better with Natasha rather than with Pepper, but it's only my personal feeling.

 

 

 **Anakin Skywalker:** _The Incredible Hulk_ : check. I would definitively hate to fight against guys like him.

 **Count Dooku:** You do give me an idea for the design of the next generation of my battle droids...

 **Anakin Skywalker:** Nooooooooooo!

 

 

 **Ahsoka Tano:** I just watched _Thor_. It was so weird, because there was an actress who looks so much like Senator Amidala!

 **Eliane Sadler:** Her name is Natalie Portman, and she played Padmé Amidala in the Star Wars movies ^-^' She's a very good actress!

 **Padmé Amidala:** In this movie, Jane Foster has a very good taste in men, because she ends up with Thor... He is very good-looking.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** He has too much muscle, it doesn't even look natural.

 **Eliane Sadler:** Hehehe, a jealousy scene! xD

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** A jealousy scene?

 **Eliane Sadler:** I didn't say anything :p

 

 

 **Anakin Skywalker:** _The Avengers_ : check! We can see the superheroes assembling: “Mr. Buff”, Tony Stark, Captain America... A very good team! (Even if they had some difficulties to get along.) There is another thing that was weird: this Nick Fury looks like our Mace Windu... with an eye-patch.

 **Eliane Sadler:** Actor Samuel L. Jackson played Mace Windu in Star Wars ^-^'

 **Ahsoka Tano:** I would say that my favourite character in this movie is Coulson (by the way, he didn't deserve what happened to him... Loki is an asshole!).

 **Eliane Sadler:** o.o'

 **Sheev Palpatine:** What's the matter, Eliane?

 **Eliane Sadler:** I will not tolerate any insult about Loki! * lifts her plastic Mjölnir above her head *

 **Anakin Skywalker:** You maybe have a plastic Mjölnir, but we have lightsabers!

 **Eliane Sadler:** … Okay, guys, I must admit that I can't measure up to you.

 

 

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** I've just finished _Iron Man 3_. It was ALMOST as good as the other films ^-^'

 **Eliane Sadler:** I hate the ending.

 **Sheev Palpatine:** Why? I think it is very believable.

 **Eliane Sadler:** I think it's because of the fact that Tony gave everything up for Pepper. It drives me mad. She doesn't deserve Tony...

 **Sheev Palpatine:** And who “deserves” him, in your opinion?

 **Eliane Sadler:** … Steve Rogers? x) It would intensify the confrontation scenes between both of them in _Captain America: Civil War_ :D

 

 

 **Ahsoka Tano:** I've done _Thor: The Dark World_ too! I'm never going to get over what happened to Frigga x'(

 **Anakin Skywalker:** I wonder what happened to Odin. And Loki is still an asshole in this movie. (You cannot attack us, Eliane, you don't have a lightsaber yet xD)

 **Eliane Sadler:** I hope Odin is dead * devilish laughter * (Dear Santa Claus, for the next Christmas I would like to have Kylo Ren's lightsaber to kill the Jedi who insult Loki.)

 **Padmé Amidala:** Who is Kylo Ren?

 **Eliane Sadler:** Let's talk about that later ^-^'

 

 

 **Sheev Palpatine:** I just watched _Captain America: The Winter Soldier_. I think it is my favourite film of this marathon for the moment.

 **Eliane Sadler:** GO WINTER SOLDIER. Sorry. In fact I can't get over this movie. Poor Bucky x'( He didn't deserve what happened to him. (However, I enjoyed the death of Alexander Pierce :D)

 **Anakin Skywalker:** If Loki is an asshole, Alexander Pierce is ten times worse than him. The world will be better without him.

 **Ahsoka Tano:** He managed to infiltrate himself to the highest place of S.H.I.E.L.D., his enemies! Thankfully, it's not the case for us.

 **Eliane Sadler:** That's what you think, my dear...

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** I'm sorry?

 **Eliane Sadler:** What? Nothing. I never said anything.

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** It's the second time you seem to know more than us about something, and you refuse to answer.

 **Eliane Sadler:** I don't tell others' secrets. Period. But on this case, it's sure that I know much more than almost everyone here (I'm trolling you and I love it ^-^').

 

 

 **Eliane Sadler:** Did anyone watch _Guardians of the Galaxy_ already?

 **Anakin Skywalker:** I did. I love Star-Lord. And Rocket.

 **Ahsoka Tano:** I am Groot. ;)

 **Eliane Sadler:** Did you say that you loved it, Ahsoka? No wonder, it rocks more than _The Avengers_ ^-^'

 **Ahsoka Tano:** I am Groot (translation: I totally agree with you.)

 

 

 **Padmé Amidala:** Another! _Avengers: Age Of Ultron_ , done.

 **Sheev Palpatine:** For an “age”, I think that Ultron didn't reign very long.

 **Eliane Sadler:** They should have called this _Avengers: Weekend of Ultron_ xD

 **Anakin Skywalker:** What you just said makes more sense than your love for Loki.

 **Eliane Sadler:** * mumbles * Kylo Ren, give me the strength not to kill your grandfather...

 **Anakin Skywalker:** WHAAAAAT? This Kylo Ren is my grandson? o.o'

 **Eliane Sadler:** Oops. Spoilers detected.

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** You do know much more than us. I think that the Jedi Council is going to ask you some clarification about this, young lady.

 **Eliane Sadler:** How to get yourself into a sticky situation. Thank you for this, Kylo. You already killed Han, and now this...

 

 

 **Ahsoka Tano:** It's done for me! _Ant-Man_ was very funny ^-^'

 **Eliane Sadler:** Done? I don't think so. It was only the tip of the iceberg. (By the way, who watched _Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D._?)

 **Sheev Palpatine:** There are other films? (I'm halfway through the first series.)

 **Eliane Sadler:** Yes, there are other movies, but not from the same studios, so they're not set in this chronology. Here they are: the _X-Men_ series, the two versions of _Spider-Man_ , the two versions of the _Fantastic Four_ , another _Hulk_ movie, and the most important... _Deadpool_!

 **Anakin Skywalker:** I'm up for this! ;)

 **Eliane Sadler:** I'll send you the links ^-^' (And if you speak evil of Magneto, watch out! xD)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you didn't get knocked out under the weight of my crack ^-^' but I wanted them to watch those movies (especially for the parallel between Sidious and Pierce ^-^') And let's say that they know who Santa Claus is ;D
> 
> Next chapter will be less about Marvel and more about alcohol xD Its translation isn't ready yet, but I think it will be the case soon ;)
> 
> You can leave a review if you want to :) I promise I won't bite anyone x'D (And the Sidious Army waits for you on Facebook. Enlist now! :3)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's say I got drunk without drinking, because when I wrote the following chapter I think I was on a different planet xD (Thankfully, no more Marvel in this chapter, except for the first dialogue ^_^')
> 
> And of course, thank you Gigira for the beta-reading job ;)

**Anakin Skywalker:** Eliane, Magneto is an asshole.

 **Eliane Sadler:** WHAAAAT? I told you not to say shit about him!

 **Anakin Skywalker:** Do you have a lightsaber now?

 **Eliane Sadler:** No. Well, I do have one, but it's just plastic. And I don't see the point here.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** I just wanted you to notice that you weren't armed enough to prevent me from saying shit about your favourite villains.

 **Eliane Sadler:** Senator Amidala, would you please do me a favour by smacking Skywalker in the face?

 **Padmé Amidala:** Why ask it from me?

 **Eliane Sadler:** First, because I'm not in the same galaxy, so I'm unable to give Skywalker a kick in the ass by myself. Second, because I think you are the best candidate for doing this for me.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** Ouch. Padmé, you could have slapped me more softly!

 **Eliane Sadler:** Ha ha ha, you deserved it xD

 

 

 

 **Eliane Sadler:** HELLO FROM THE DARK SIIIIIDE! I MUST HAVE KILLED ALL THE JEDIII!

 **Anakin Skywalker:** … O_o'

 **Ahsoka Tano:** What's the matter, Eliane? o.o'

 **Eliane Sadler:** I'm just totally drunk, don't worry. Too much alcohol at this little convention.

 **Padmé Amidala:** You should learn a little moderation ;)

 **Eliane Sadler:** Not my fault. A guy cosplayed in Darth Maul challenged me to drink as much as I could. I was Deadpool, couldn't refuse it, that character is crazy enough to take up the challenge. The only problem is that I can't hold my drink at all, so I lost the game. I HATE YOU MAUL.

 **Sheev Palpatine:** I don't think it is a good idea to post anything on the social networks when you are drunk, because you might say things that make no sense or that you could regret when you are sober :)

 **Eliane Sadler:** Not a problem, I know perfectly what I'm sayin'. You're a totally awesome character!

 **Sheev Palpatine:** Well, thank you, Eliane.

 **Eliane Sadler:** It's just that I shouldn't have combined alcohol and _The Force Awakens_. 'Cause now I see tons of Kylo Rens everywhere in my bedroom. And they're all pole-dancing.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** By the Force, Eliane, you should go straight to the hospital if you have hallucinations.

 **Eliane Sadler:** I even see Snoke being fucked by Hux, and Sidious is watching both of them with a strawberry lollipop in his mouth.

 **Sheev Palpatine:** Eliane, you are frightening me, really. You should go to the hospital.

 **Eliane Sadler:** Oh. My. God. Vader is doing jump rope. Kylo Ren begins a strip-tease... get me out of here! And Rey is watching all this while singing Tumblr Fandom Style O_o'

 **Sheev Palpatine:** Eliane. Go to the hospital. Now.

 **Eliane Sadler:** Plagueis and Obi-Wan are dancing the Macarena. Yoda thinks he's a mouldy sushi. Ahsoka's doing awkward things with Anakin, but I can't see what exactly. Deadpool is running after the Chancellor and he's holding a duck in his arms. Captain America... is dead! O_o'

 **Sheev Palpatine:** Eliane, please, get some help.

 **Eliane Sadler:** All characters are doing an Harlem Shake, even Cap's corpse! O_o' I... jiehr h efhcie,o * collapses onto her keyboard *

 **Sheev Palpatine:** Eliane? Are you all right? Eliane?

 **Padmé Amidala:** Don't worry about her, Chancellor, she will just sober up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think alcohol is the only thing Eliane drank that night ;) Perhaps the Maul cosplayer wanted to have fun at her expense with the help of some kind of soft drug :p  
> Anywaaaay, everything is crazy in this chapter, and I'm not even ashamed of it xD
> 
> « Hello from the Dark Side » comes from a parody of Adele's song. You should really watch the video on YouTube, this is awesome! ;D


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will justify the M rating ;)  
> Again, thanks Gigira for the beta-reading :D

**Eliane Sadler** is online.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** Feeling better?

 **Eliane Sadler:** Grrghflf.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** What?

 **Eliane Sadler:** I have an abominable headache. * drops an aspirin into a big glass of water *

 **Anakin Skywalker:** I'm not even surprised, you were in a bad state yesterday.

 **Ahsoka Tano:** No more hallucinations?

 **Eliane Sadler:** Nope, that's much better... but I had very weird dreams: Kylo Ren and Hux were fucking each other in the middle of a forest, Poe Dameron had a dirty talk with Finn... Otherwise, I'm good.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** I can see your life is full of men doing weird things to each other ;)

 **Eliane Sadler:** Professional tic for a fanwarrior who ships tons of gay pairings :)

 

 

 

 **Deadpool:** Hey buddies!

 **Eliane Sadler:** …

 **Deadpool:** Did I say something wrong?

 **Eliane Sadler:** Guys, am I still drunk or did a Deadpool just show up on StarBook?

 **Anakin Skywalker:** You're not drunk, there's actually a Deadpool on StarBook O_o'

 

 

 

 **Deadpool** just changed his profile picture.

 **Ahsoka Tano:** Master Skywalker? Why is this cuddly unicorn covered in an obviously slimy whitish liquid?

 **Anakin Skywalker:** O_o' By the Force, Ahsoka, don't look at it! You're underage.

 **Eliane Sadler:** Oh, the unicorn. Very awkward. I want to throw up now. Or maybe it's just because of the headache?

 **Sheev Palpatine:** This newcomer is... very strange.

 **Deadpool:** Guys, I think I simply lost myself. I wanted to create a Facebook account to piss off Colossus – he seemingly joined Captain America's “Watch your language” team – but it looks like I failed.

 **Deadpool:** And sorry about the unicorn. (Indeed it's my seminal fluid spread onto it.)

 **Anakin Skywalker:** O_o'

 **Eliane Sadler:** O_o'

 **Anakin Skywalker:** You could be careful, at least! There are young people here!

 **Deadpool:** Sorry, sorry, sorry. Bye bye my duckies. I'm gonna leave you now, it's time to make chimi-fucking-changas.

 **Deadpool** has closed his account.

 **Ahsoka Tano:** Master, what's “seminal fluid”?

 **Anakin Skywalker:** O_o'

 **Ahsoka Tano:** Did I say something wrong? Again?

 **Anakin Skywalker:** * faints *

 **Sheev Palpatine:** As your Master already said, you're underage, young Padawan :)

 **Eliane Sadler:** I've never been so embarrassed by a social network conversation.

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** What are “chimi-fucking-changas”?

 **Padmé Amidala:** No idea :/

 **Eliane Sadler:** It's “chimichangas”, in fact, and they're mexican sandwiches. Very good taste.

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** Oh, right. And who is Colossus?

 **Eliane Sadler:** A mutant. He was in the Deadpool movie. … Well, it's really weird to see a movie character on the social network of other movie characters :p

 **Sheev Palpatine:** I am beginning to believe that StarBook is too well indexed on Earth's search engines. It's the second time that someone from another galaxy finds us by mistake.

 **Eliane Sadler:** … What's the meaning of this? What do I have to understand?

 **Sheev Palpatine:** Nothing at all, my dear! What could you misinterpret in this sentence?

 **Eliane Sadler:** Dunno. I think I'm becoming paranoid. Alcohol and hangover, it makes me crazy. I thought you were calling me an “intruder”.

 **Sheev Palpatine:** Of course you are not an intruder, Eliane. It is a pleasure to talk with you... even when you have hallucinations because of alcohol ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who wants Palpatine to keep chatting Eliane up? *raises her hand very quickly*


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my beta Gigira for improving my poor English xD

**Eliane Sadler** shared: Who is the strongest between Master Yoda and Hulk? You've got the green light to share your thoughts.

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** Master Yoda.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** Hulk.

 **Ahsoka Tano:** Hulk.

 **Yoda:** I.

 **Sheev Palpatine:** Hulk.

 **Eliane Sadler:** Let's consider that Hulk has won this game. Sorry, Master Yoda.

 **Yoda:** Disappointed, I am.

 **Eliane Sadler:** As long as you go into exile on Dagobah...

 **Yoda:** Sorry?

 **Eliane Sadler:** Nothing. Spoiler episode III :p

 

 

 

 **Eliane Sadler** shared: I hate when someone holds his phone out to me, and says “It's your father” while it's obvious that it's just a phone.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** Perhaps the father turned himself into a phone.

 **Eliane Sadler:** I've never considered that from this point of view before O_o'

 

 

 

 **Eliane Sadler** shared: THE PERFECT GUY. He is gay, or he is twice your age, or he already has a girlfriend, or he doesn't love you, or he lives at the other end of the planet, or he doesn't know you exist, or he doesn't exist at all.

 **Padmé Amidala:** It's sad :/ And so much more when multiple things are combined.

 **Eliane Sadler:** My life sucks then :/

 **Padmé Amidala:** Why are you saying this?

 **Eliane Sadler:** I have about ten millions of favourite characters. They're all fictitious. And they accumulate more or less other criteria :'( It's tough to be a fanwarrior :/

 **Sheev Palpatine:** My dear, don't be so defeatist. Someday, you will find someone.

 **Eliane Sadler:** … Perhaps I would have to come to your galaxy, then, because I can't find anyone in mine :p

 **Sheev Palpatine:** You would be more than welcome here :)

 

 

 

 **Anakin Skywalker:** I went on an Earthling website, and I found funny things there. Parodies of Thor's first name, to be more precise. “Investiga-Thor”, “Decora-Thor”...

 **Eliane Sadler:** To me, “Thor-Tilla” is the best one xD

 **Anakin Skywalker:** “Thor-Tilla”?

 **Eliane Sadler:** A tortilla is a mexican pancake :)

 **Anakin Skywalker:** Oh, okay. ^-^'

 **Ahsoka Tano:** “Naviga-Thor” also works :)

 **Barriss Offee:** “Escala-Thor” too.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** I found “Bu-Thor-fly”.

 **Eliane Sadler:** It's almost poetic x)

 **Anakin Skywalker** likes this.

 

 

 

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** Eliane, we would be pleased to pick you from Earth so you could discover our galaxy :)

 **Eliane Sadler:** Really? Wow, that's nice! … Even if I wonder why a proposition like this (paranoia :p)

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** … Actually, the Jedi Council wants to interrogate you on what you know about Star Wars.

 **Eliane Sadler:** I knew there was something behind it :/

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** So, I suppose it's a “no”?

 **Eliane Sadler:** Hmmm. I'll think about it.

 

 

 

 **Deadpool:** Hello!

 **Deadpool** has vanished.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** Err...

 **Padmé Amidala:** How to say that?...

 **Anakin Skywalker:** It was weird.

 **Eliane Sadler:** Suddenly, a wild Deadpool appears. Before vanishing once again. Because he's taking the piss out of us?

 **Anakin Skywalker:** As long as he doesn't bring his unicorn back... I've never been so embarrassed about something when Ahsoka asked me what was spread onto it.

 **Ahsoka Tano:** In the end, as you didn't want to tell me anything about it, Master, I searched by myself... and now I understand why you didn't want to talk about “seminal fluid” with me O_o'

 **Anakin Skywalker:** Ahsoka! O_o'

 **Eliane Sadler:** Don't corrupt your young mind!

 **Ahsoka Tano:** I learned the lesson. I won't ever search things like this again without Skyguy's approval.

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** You need to put things into perspective, Anakin. She could have found worse things.

 **Anakin Skywalker:** I don't want to think about it. O_o'

 

 

 

 **Eliane Sadler:** I just thought about something. You have invited me to come into your galaxy. It's a nice thing, uh, I'd like it. But you could also come to Earth :D

 **Sheev Palpatine:** This is not a bad idea, not at all. Unfortunately, we have a war to run. In another case, I would have been glad to meet you in person on your homeworld :)

 **Anakin Skywalker:** Too bad we can't go to Earth. I was curious to see what it looks like.

 **Obi-Wan Kenobi:** I'll ask the Council if they would allow a little expedition... taking the Clone Wars into account, of course.

 **Eliane Sadler:** It would be nice, but I don't think you would all be there :/

 **Padmé Amidala:** If it was a “diplomatic mission”... perhaps I could come as well. :)

 **Sheev Palpatine:** That would work... but there would be political negotiations once we are there.

 **Ahsoka Tano:** And we won't be able to spend as much time as we want with Eliane :/

 **Anakin Skywalker:** We could talk about “discovering a new planet”, but no politician could come with us in that case. It would be a Jedi expedition only.

 **Sheev Palpatine:** We have to think about all this. I hope we will find a way :)

 **Padmé Amidala:** Wanting to escape from the Coruscant routine, Chancellor? ;)

 **Sheev Palpatine:** A little holiday would be pleasant, for a change :)

 **Eliane Sadler:** I would love to meet you all ^-^'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anakin is really an overprotective Master ^_^'

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave a review ;) And the « Sidious Army » is waiting for you on Facebook, enlist now :3


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